Schadenfreude 101

I don't fucking believe it. I actually feel sorry for Paris Hilton.

How is this possible?

If you saw the footage (or even a still image) of Paris Hilton, shorn of makeup and cell phone or cute little dog or any of her usual accessories, bawling her eyes out in the back of a patrol car, you might feel in spite of yourself, even if you believe that she's a spoiled bitch who broke the law and who's getting what she deserves, a little twinge of sympathy.

The fact is that Ms. Hilton seems to be caught up in a pissing match between a judge and a sheriff who have conflicting agendas. The judge wants to show that he's tough on crime and that rich bitches can't get away with anything. The sheriff is under a mandate to ease overcrowding in the prisons. The judge specifically stated that there was to be no house arrest, work furlough or electronic monitoring -- she was to do prison time and that was it.

The sheriff, knowing full well that if this woman was named Kathy Sparks and she was a 38-year-old mother of two she wouldn't be doing any jail time whatsoever, claimed that she had an unspecified "medical condition" and sent her home with an ankle bracelet after only five days in prison -- in direct contradiction of the judge's order.

The judge, hearing about this, got pissed and took it out on Ms. Hilton, dragging her out of her home back into court and tossing her back into the slammer.

For the first time in her life Paris Hilton is facing forces she can't control, and it looks she'll spend the next forty days in the slammer.

And I feel sorry for the woman. I probably shouldn't, but I do.

Tom Moran