2 Girls, 1 Cup = 1 President

Now that Frank Rich has established that, unlike what Hillary Clinton and John McCain would like us to believe, experience is not going to be the primary criterion for choosing the next president of the United States, then what should that criterion be? If, as Rich claims, "Americans are not just willing but eager to roll the dice," how do we know how to gamble on the next leader of the free world?

I have an idea. You knew I would.

I think that all the presidential candidates, both Democratic and Republican, should each be put in a room, and once there they should be shown the infamous "2 Girls 1Cup" video.

If you don't know what that video is, don't ask -- it's the most disgusting thing you will ever see in your life, and you won't watch it if you know what's good for you. Let's just say (and this is being extremely euphemistic) that it depicts two women performing the most disgusting acts imaginable, short of dismemberment and death. It's truly vile.

However, this video has spawned a fascinating mini-trend on You Tube, where young people videotape themselves and each other (and, in one particularly twisted variation, their grandmother) watching the tape for the first (and, one can only hope, last time) to gauge their reactions. College kids in particular love to see what happens when unsuspecting people watch this video.

This is a pretty representative example of the genre:



Seems like a pretty good way to pick a president. Don't you think?

So let's see Hillary Clinton watch "2 Girls, 1 Cup." How will she react? Will she gag? Throw up? Leave the room? I'd love to see how she takes it -- wouldn't you?

What would Rudy Giuliani do? Would he be outraged at this disgusting violation of all that's decent and holy? Or would he simply roll his eyes and say, "Oh, that's nothing -- Judi and I do that all the time!"

(Okay, I tend to doubt that last bit, but let's face it: you never know with Rudy.)

How would Mike Huckabee or Barack Obama react? Would they get incensed or would they be too busy spewing?

I say we show them all the video, one at a time, and then watch their reaction tapes. And then let America vote, just the way they do on "Dancing With the Stars," to determine who should become the next president. It'll be a great way to get young people involved in the electoral process.

And you have to admit, it can't be much worse than the circus we have now.

Tom Moran