Don't Lose That Famous Temper of Yours

The most famous hothead in American cinema since Sonny Corleone has made headlines once again with his temper. Only this time it's more disturbing than amusing.

Actor Alec Baldwin has been embroiled in a long-term custody struggle with his former wife, actress Kim Basinger, over their 11-year-old daughter Ireland. When their daughter failed to answer the phone for one of their court-appointed phone conversations, Baldwin went beserk, leaving a disgusting and abusive message on her answering machine.

I have to admit, I haven't heard the whole message. I got about halfway through it and I couldn't stomach listening to the rest: it was audio child abuse.

Baldwin discusses his behavior on his website. I will print his apologia (if that is indeed what it is) in full, commenting as I go:

Thank you to everyone who has posted messages of suppport [sic] and understanding. Naturally, it is not best for a parent to lose their temper with their child. Everyone who knows me privately knows that I have endured a great deal over the last several years in my custody litigation. Everyone who knows me privately knows that certain people will go to any lengths to embarass [sic] me and to disrupt my relationship with my daughter.

This opening reveals a lot, other than the fact that Alec Baldwin doesn't know how to use spell check. He seems to be more concerned with what he's been going through than how his tirade has affected his daughter. Saying that "it is not best for a parent to lose their temper with their child" is a little like Mel Gibson saying that it is not best for actors to lose their sobriety and utter anti-Semitic opinions. What Baldwin put on that answering machine was not just a matter of losing his temper -- he was out to hurt, humiliate and verbally abuse his child.

In such public cases, your opponents attempt to take a picture of you on your worst day and insist that this is who you are as a person. Outside the doors of divorce court, I have friends, I have respect from people I work with and I have a normal relationship with my daughter. All of that is threatened whenever one enters a court room.

Again, note the solipsism and lack of responsibility. Baldwin may indeed have friends and may indeed have respect from people he works with (although I'd love to get Tina Fey, who has a small child, in a corner and ask her privately what she thinks of his little tirade -- but then I'd like to get Tina Fey in a corner under just about any pretext). And does Baldwin really have a "normal" relationship with his daughter? I'm not so sure I'm willing to take his word for it.

Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child. I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my child. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. ( Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case.

Yes, all parents lose their patience with their kids, but what Baldwin doesn't seem to realize is that this goes beyond merely "losing his patience." Once again we see a total moral blindness as well as an unwillingness to examine the hurt that his words may very well have inflicted on his child. Note the special pleading inherent in "as everyone who knows me is aware" and "You have to go through this to understand." In other words, no one is in a position to judge Baldwin's actions -- except, presumably, him. He does have a valid point that whoever leaked that disgusting audio document to the press in an attempt to score points in the ongoing custody dispute was pretty scummy -- but is that action somehow more morally reprehensible than making the tape to begin with?

Once my book is published, I'm sure more people will understand the incredible strains created by parental alienation.

In the meantime, I'm sorry to anyone who's taken offense from this episode.

You'll notice that, while Baldwin takes pains to apologize "to anyone who's taken offense" to his verbally abusive message, he does not specifically apologize to his daughter.

And that speaks volumes.

Tom Moran