Softball: or, Pimping for Giuliani

Did you catch Chris Matthews of "Hardball" on "The Tonight Show"?

Jay Leno asked him a question about the 2008 presidential election, and Matthews spilled the beans on who he wants to be the next President of the United States.

Rudy Giuliani.

Rudy fucking Giuliani.

Explains a lot about Chris Matthews, doesn't it? Apparently he's been pimping for Giuliani on "Hardball" as well -- and, according to Media Matters for America, shutting up people who attempt to bring up Giuliani's many shortcomings.

Now, I know a lot of people admire Rudy Giuliani. All almost all of those people have pretty much one thing in common.

Can you guess what that thing is?

They didn't have to live in New York City while Rudy Giuliani was mayor.

If anyone wants an idea of what kind of president Rudy Giuliani would make, all they have to do is read a book by one of his predecessors as mayor of New York -- Ed Koch. The book is called Giuliani: Nasty Man. It's a book that everyone interested in politics should read, even if it is out of print. It's an indelible portrait of the man that Kirkus Reviews describes as "an authoritarian publicity hound who cant [sic] admit when hes [sic] made a mistake."

Is it arguable that Giuliani "cleaned up" New York during his tenure as mayor? It's arguable. But as one of the Amazon.com reviewers of Koch's book points out, Hitler "cleaned up" Germany too -- and there's a definite fascist streak to Giuliani that was evident both pre- and post-9/11. Just remember how Giuliani tried to use the terrorist attacks as an excuse to postpone the election to pick his successor and stay in office by whatever means necessary.

Do we really want this guy to be president?

Ann Coulter also has very nice things to say about Rudy Giuliani in her new book, Godless. It makes you wonder (or at least it should) when Ann Coulter and Chris Matthews agree on something. John Podhoretz in his latest screed (on Hillary Clinton, entitled Can She Be Stopped?) also considers Giuliani the last best hope for the G.O.P. in 2008.

Of course, we don't have to worry about Giuliani getting the Republican nomination -- that's about as likely as my being elected Pope.

Why is that?

Well, the facts are these:

• Rudy Giuliani (at least nominally) a Catholic.
• Rudy Giuliani is pro-choice on abortion.
• Rudy Giuliani is pro-gay rights.
• Rudy Giuliani is on his third marriage -- and his first marriage was to his cousin.

Now, does that sound like someone who can win over hard-line right-wing Evangelical Protestant Republican primary voters in Iowa and New Hampshire? If it does, give me some of what you're smoking, because I'd like to try it. Either he sticks to his guns and loses the far right voters that decide the nomination, or he reverses himself to get the nomination and is accused with justice by the other primary candidates of being a flip-flopper.

Either way, he loses. And he deserves to lose. We've already had one authoritarian nut-bag with delusions of grandeur and a fascist streak in the White House -- two in a row would be a disaster.

Tom Moran