Ashlee Simpson's Nose: 1984-2006

The news today is tragic and heartbreaking. I can barely see the screen through my tears as I type these words.

Ashlee Simpson has gotten a nosejob.

I can't believe it. What's wrong with some people?

For those of you who don't follow pop culture, Ashlee Simpson is the little sister of pneumatic pop star and soon to be divorcee Jessica Simpson. Ashlee is herself an actress (she did a nice turn on The WB's "Seventh Heaven"), had her own reality show for awhile and is probably the most famous lip-syncher since The Two Chinese Boys.

And I used to think she was prettier than her more famous sister.

That is, until she went and mutilated her nose, which was the sexiest thing about her.

I haven't been this depressed since Soleil Moon Frye got a breast reduction.

Thank God for Vicki Lewis. At least there's still one woman in Hollywood left with guts -- and the good sense not to mutilate herself.

Don't you think it's ironic that all these people claim to believe in God and yet feel no qualms whatever about messing around with what that God supposedly gave them?

Tom Moran

Note 5/12/06: The Two Chinese Boys is the unofficial name for the two guys who are more officially known as The Back Dormitory Boys. They do some of the best videos on You Tube, and their blog is at: http://twochineseboys.blogspot.com/ Check them out if you want to laugh your ass off.